Just like the US Census, the UK surveys their residents to learn about the economy and the cost of living. In what can only be explained as a gross computer glitch, the UK Office of National Statistics selected Mike and I for their Living Costs and Food Survey. We received a letter in early May asking if we wished to participate. We eagerly accepted to see what would happen.
Our English adventure began with a letter from the General Director, Dr. Watson. I can only surmise this is his day job when not working with Sherlock Homes. In his letter, Dr. Watson carefully explained that our household should expect some visitors. If this had been December, I would have expected visits by three ghosts. Since this was May, we were told to expect one interviewer. The interviewer we were assigned was named Mr. Pickles. This was a source of many hours of giggling.
The story could end here because his visit was incredibly predictable. A tall, lanky man arrived at the stroke of the hour and introduced himself, with a classic British accent, as Mr. Pickles. He asked what we purchased over the last year, which we told him. He gave us a diary to write our purchases for two weeks, which we did. Two weeks later, Mr. Pickles returned as the clock struck the hour to collect our diaries. This should have marked the end of this English adventure. But it didn’t.
All was quite dull until Mr. Pickles asked the cost of something and we couldn’t find the answer. The house drew silent. Finally, Mr. Pickles said, “Just give me a tinkle when you know”. We stopped and he kindly repeated. “When you find the answer tinkle me”. I’m sorry? He made it clearer. “I’ll give you my mobile so you can tinkle.”
To not disappoint, we did find the answer and tinkled Mr Pickles the next morning.
